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Agence France Press does not know the basics of ballistic

«« July 2004 • Archive: August 2004 • September 2004 »»

26th

08/2004


Sorry for the hiatus, please know however that I'm not dead.

Just insanely busy, trying to earn a living, and incidentally to get a license to a shooting range nearby.

Yeah, I've been in the mood for shooting things these days, and the neighbors were starting to complain.

In other news, I don't know if you're like me, but as I grow older, I find one thing - among others - to be particularly satisfying: when it turns out that your teen-age idols still have something worth to tell you, many years after you've more or less forgotten them.

Gals and lads, I give you Alice Cooper:
"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal."

What's outstanding in this single paragraph, is that the man is still exposing the free thinking and independent attitude that appealed to me in the first place (some, *gosh* 20 years ago) while at the same time demonstrating why it's so rare and unlikely that any of your teenage idols will still be worthy of your consideration, once you're past your twenties.

Because most of them are morons.

Granted of course, that unlike your average lefty you're not stuck in your own past, pleasing yourself in a moronic immaturity.

And that's precisely the case were Alice is right, again: you'd be bigger morons than them.

After all, they're making millions with your stupidity.

It shouldn't forbid us temporary access of nostalgia though. So I guess it's time to dig out my old vinyls (putting aside the creepy thought that there are kids out there who probably don't know what's an LP) and roll the diamond on...

...Why, "Elected" of course:

"And if I am elected
I promise the formation of a new party
A third party, the Wild Party!
I know we have problems,
We got problems right here in Central City,
We have problems on the North, South, East and West, New York City, Saint Louis, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Detroit, Chicago,
Everybody has problems,
And personally, I don't care."
Désolé pour le hiatus, sachez cependant que je ne suis pas mort.

Juste effroyablement occupé, à tenter de gagner ma vie et accessoirement d'obtenir un licence pour un pas de tir des environs.

Ouais, j'ai été d'humeur à tirer sur des trucs ces derniers temps, et les voisins commençaient à se plaindre.

Autrement, je ne sais pas si vous êtes comme moi, mais l'âge venant, il est une chose - parmi d'autres - que je trouve particulièrement satisfaisante : lorsqu'il arrive que vos idoles de jeunesse ont encore quelque chose de valable à vous dire, de nombreuses années après que vous les ayez plus ou moins oubliées.

Gars et gâtes, je vous propose Alice Cooper :

"Si vous écoutez une rock star afin de savoir pour qui vous devez voter, vous êtes encore plus cons qu'ils ne le sont. Pourquoi sommes nous des rock stars ? Parce que nous sommes des cons. On dors toute la journée, on joue de la musique la nuit, et on s'assoie très rarement pour lire le Washington Journal."

Ce qui est magnifique dans ce seul paragraphe, c'est que l'homme a toujours l'attitude d'indépendant et de libre penseur qui m'avait attiré en premier lieu (il y a quelques *bigre* 20 ans de cela) tout en démontrant dans le même temps pourquoi il est si rare et peu probable qu'aucune de vos idoles de jeunesse ne vaillent toujours la peine, passé vos vingt ans.

Parce que la plupart sont des cons.

Evidemment, cela implique aussi que contrairement au gauchiste moyen, vous ne soyez pas embourbé dans votre propre passé, à vous complaire dans une immaturité de demeuré.

Car c'est précisément le cas de figure où Alice à raison une fois de plus: vous seriez bien plus cons qu'eux ne le sont.

Après tout, ils font des millions avec votre connerie.

Cela ne doit cependant pas nous interdire des accès temporaires de nostalgie. J'imagine donc qu'il est temps de fouiller dans mes vieux vinyls (en écartant l'angoissante pensée qu'il y a des gamins qui ignorent probablement ce qu'est un LP) et faire glisser le diamant sur...

... Et bien "Elected" évidemment:

"And if I am elected
I promise the formation of a new party
A third party, the Wild Party!
I know we have problems,
We got problems right here in Central City,
We have problems on the North, South, East and West, New York City, Saint Louis, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Detroit, Chicago,
Everybody has problems,
And personally, I don't care."

06th

08/2004


SlagleRock emails back:
DF,

Thanks a ton.
(...) you could make mention that the deadline has been extended to Thursday the 12th and once again link to the site. You have pushed many many hits my way and your help has generated at least 10 letters that I know of for sure.
In other words, this is a confirmation of what I knew already: my humble blog has many terrific readers.

Heartfelt thanks to all of you. Gosh, I could kiss you if you were close and female enough.

All right, let's not get mushy: as you can read, the time limit is extended to next Thursday. That's 6 more days for those, including me, who didn't make it yet.

So, let's get it done okay?

By the way, you'll do as you see fit, but I think it would be more than well deserved to have thoughts and words for the men and women of other nations fighting in the Coalition: Brits, Aussies, Poles and all these "insignificant little countries" - in the very words of Old Europe - who prove their valor daily, alongside the US.

You know who they are. You know what we owe them.

On second thought, I guess we could even include those who pulled back when their new al-Qaeda appointed Socialist government started to collaborate with the enemies of Civilization. I don't know. What do you think?
Cela s'adresse exclusivement aux anglophones parmi vous. Il est donc inutile d'en dire plus et dans une autre langue que ce qu'ils peuvent lire dans la colonne d'à côté.

Il faut vraiment tout vous expliquer comme ça ? C'est franchement saoulant à la fin.

05th

08/2004


Finally, considering the specific format of the blog medium and the fact that I will remove it from the home page at some point in the future, here it goes again:










The new Flash animation at the top of the home page was inspired by a reader's email to Our InstaLord of the Blogs, thank to B. Durbin (with whom I share an inexhaustible interest for Terry Pratchett apparently.) who added it to an hypothetical "things I'd like to see df do" list in the comments of this post.

It seems that Ted Kennedy, like too many people around, needs a little reminder on recent history.

Considering that when it comes to the contempt for 9/11 and its implications, Mr. Kennedy doesn't have the excuse to be French (I mean "excuse" in the sense of "justification" of course), let's give it to him:

Here's an archive containing the Flash movie and instructions to publish it on your site/blog (260 Kb).
Here are the self playing projectors: For Windows (executable inside the zip. 782 Kb) and for Mac (hqx, 2,120 Kb).

Use it at your heart's content: I'm inclined to believe that what Ted Kennedy really fears is you and your choice in November.
UPDATE:
There were reports of damaged downloads, notably on the web version archive. It should be fixed now, sorry for the inconvenience.
La nouvelle animation Flash en haut de la home page est inspirée de l'email d'un lecteur de Notre InstaSeigneur des Blogs, grâce à B. Durbin (avec qui je partage manifestement un intérêt intarissable pour Terry Pratchett.) qui l'a ajouté sur une hypothétique liste des "choses que j'aimerais voir faire par df" dans les commentaires de ce post.

Il semble que Ted Kennedy, comme de bien trop nombreux autres, a besoin d'un petit rappel de l'histoire récente.

Considérant qu'en ce qui concerne le mépris du 11 Septembre et de ses implications, M. Kennedy n'a pas l'excuse d'être français (Et j'entends "excuse" dans le sens de "justification" bien entendu), donnons le lui :

Voici l'archive contenant le clip Flash et les instructions pour le publier sur votre site/blog (260 Ko).
Voici les projecteurs autoexécutables : Pour Windows (exécutable dans le zip. 782 Ko) et pour Mac (hqx, 2,120 Ko).

Utilisez sans modération: j'ai tendance à penser que ce que Ted Kennedy craint vraiment c'est vous et votre choix en Novembre.
MISE A JOUR :
J'ai été averti que certains téléchargements étaient endommagés, notamment l'archive de la version web. Cela devrait être rétabli maintenant, désolé pour le désagrément.

03rd

08/2004


Those among you who are not at the beach, yet or anymore, probably noted that the posting has been rather scarce in the dacha lately.

To make a long story of short postings, well, short, this is what happens when you try to make a living with the design of other people's blogs: the whole barefoot shoemaker story all over again.

I certainly apologize to you, who hit these pages regularly and may develop a growing feeling of frogmanless frustration, but this regrettable state of fact could be a blessing in disguise, as it created the perfect situation for me to enroll you into the following:
I received an email from SlagleRock calling to bloggers and readers
Yesterday I wrote a post inspired by Mamamontezz and SPC Joe Roche. After writing this post I received a couple of trackback pings and some very nice comments from readers and other bloggers.

I was talking to Denita of Who Tends The Fires and was inspired to make this posting a much larger event. 'Nita said that she wished she knew a way to get the letters to the troops.

I have that way. A close personal friend is about to embark on his first deployment to the Middle East. Lets send him off with some words of inspiration!
I therefore respectfully suggest that you briefly stop trying to read what I'm not writing here, go there, read the whole thing, and write with your hearts and minds to the troops in Iraq.

Bloggers are encouraged to blog their letters (and please trackback), while readers please post it in the comments.
J'ai bien conscience qu'il s'agit là de la colonne en français, mais je vais néanmoins continuer en anglais:

If you care to show your support to the American troops in Iraq, now is the time, here is the way.

A haunting question has been tormenting me lately.
When the cream of the French Champaign Socialists gives a standing ovation to Michael Moore, with the full set of cheers and hand clapping, where the hell do they put their silver spoons?

They can't keep them in their mouths, they can't hold them with their hands, you would be a definitive boor if you were to put anything in your tux pockets, and there's nothing you can slide inside those haute couture dresses beside your average highly stupid albeit widely smiling actress meat.

Particularly with the aging ones, who get naturally meatier over the time.

I'm not yet losing any sleep over this, but damn! Where, I wonder?

Anyway, I guess it will keep haunting me for some time but talking about Michael Moore and other mindless meat, Tim Blair quotes this letter to the Australian:
The movie Fahrenheit 9/11 asserts the children of US congressmen are under-represented in US forces in Iraq.

There are 300 million Americans; 130,000 US troops in Iraq; 535 congressmen and women; and at least five children of congressmen serving in Iraq.

Thirty seconds of intellectual effort shows that children of US congressmen are very over-represented in Iraq; but 30 seconds is way over the capacity of admirers of Fahrenheit 9/11.
You know it's not in my habits to quote most (if not all) of other bloggers' posts so I'll be honest with you: I just couldn't resist the pleasure to have that translated in French, in the next column.

After all, it's clear by now that Moore's most enthusiasts fan base and support is largely made of the French anti-Americans¹ and Hamas terrorists¹.
¹: spot the redundancy, and win the Dissident Frogman's Palm Flipper. Sorry, I was just Gallicizing again.
Une question lancinante me tourmente ces derniers temps.
Quand la crème de la gauche caviar française offre une standing ovation à Michael Moore, avec toute la panoplie de hourrahs et de clappements de mains, où peuvent ils bien mettre leurs cuillères en argent ?

Ils ne peuvent pas les garder en bouche, ils ne peuvent pas les tenir en main, vous seriez vraiment du dernier vulgaire si vous tentiez seulement de mettre quoi que ce soit dans les poches d'un smoking et il n'est rien que l'on puisse glisser dans ces robes de haute couture en surplus de l'habituelle viande d'actrice hautement stupide bien que largement souriante.

Particulièrement chez les plus âgées, qui ont tendance à faire naturellement plus de viande avec le temps.

Cela ne m'empêche pas encore de dormir, mais bon sang! Où, je me le demande ?

Quoi qu'il en soit, j'imagine que cela va me hanter encore quelque temps, mais puisque nous abordons le sujet de Michael Moore et autres viandes d'abrutis, Tim Blair cite ce courrier au journal the Australian:
Le film Fahrenheit 9/11 affirme que les enfants de membres du congrès US sont sous-représentés dans les forces US en Irak.

Il y a 300 millions d'Américains; 130,000 troupes US en Irak; 535 députés hommes et femmes; et au moins 5 enfants de membres du congrès servant en Irak.

Trente secondes d'effort intellectuel montrent que les enfants de députés US sont particulièrement en sureffectifs en Irak; mais 30 secondes, c'est bien au-delà des capacités des admirateurs de Fahrenheit 9/11.
Vous savez qu'il n'est pas dans mes habitudes de citer les posts d'autres bloggers dans (quasiment) leur entier, je serais donc honnête avec vous : je n'ai pas pu résister au plaisir de traduire ça en français dans cette colonne.

Après tout, il est maintenant clair que les fans et supporters les plus enthousiastes de Moore sont constitués de Français anti-Américains¹ et de terroristes du Hamas¹.
¹: trouvez la redondance et gagnez les Palmes du Dissident Frogman.
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