A Day With Roger ♠ Une Journée Avec Roger |

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Roger was positively thrilled to discover that there was indeed a great American behind Merde in France.
It started pretty badly, with a last minute treachery by an otherwise faithful mechanical device.

Yes, that means my car wouldn't start at 6 AM that very morning because it was friggin' freezing down at the frogman's lair.
Picture yourself the great opening scene of Ridley Scott's Gladiator: a dark and cold Germanic forest filled with a bunch of hairy guys in fur pants and sharp axes who last had a bath two years ago when the ice shattered under their feet and they fell accidentally in the river. Add my car parked in the middle, just behind General Maximus' catapults.

There you have it.

When there's 7° or 8° (Celsius, for the non metric system(ed) among you) in Paris, it's below zero here and we hunt wild boars in the woods, shoot them with our shotguns, finish them with our daggers and then we drink their blood while fornicating with our females naked in the thickets.

Great fun to be had.

(Okay, I'm just laying it on thick - so to speak - as far as blood drinking and female fornicating are concerned. Ease up.)

End of the digression, back to the mechanical device: I was eventually able to make it to Paris where, resisting the temptation to shoot wimpy Parisians and drink their blood while fornicating with their females, Merde in France and myself were commissioned by the most esteemed Roger L. Simon to lead his anthropological expedition dedicated, on the battlefield, to the study of the post 9/11 France and the singular species she shelters.

Roger will certainly blog about this experience, and considering that he is still in his plane back to Los Angeles, I'm not going to spoil his fun by revealing anything.
Let it be just said that, either on his own - this man has balls or is totally unconscious. Maybe both - or with us, Roger certainly got a feel of the situation that's way more concrete an accurate than any of the lachrymose floweriness dripping from Woody Allen's chitter-chatter. Either on his own or with us, he's went to places where the Woody Allen of the world - as well as the ludicrous apologists of the old guard of the French blogosphere, desperately trying to convince themselves that "all is well in Frogistan and here's a proof: the Eiffel tower is still here" - never go and never will go, he saw things they don't want to see and he had an overview of the bitter reality hidden behind the grubby curtains of the House of France.

But surely, Roger will tell you about that once he's finished playing with time shift.

That was a very interesting day and an excellent encounter. Roger L. Simon is truly a great character and, alongside the thrill of meeting such a talented man, the honesty with which he broaches his personal trajectory in the field of ideas definitively elicits my respect.

Hats off, Mr. Simon.

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St Wtf 20:29-31.5

29 . Frogman saith unto him, Roger, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
30 . And many other signs truly did frogman in the presence of Roger, which are not written in this book:
31 . But these are written, that ye might believe that frogman is the dissident, the Great Frogman of War; and that believing ye might have life through his name.
31.5 . And also a cup of coffee and a pint o' Guiness.
Ca avait commencé plutôt mal avec une trahison en dernière minute d'un appareil mécanique habituellement fidèle.

Oui, ça veut dire que ma voiture n'a pas voulu démarrer à 6 heures ce matin là parce qu'il gelait à fendre toutes sortes de choses du côté de la tanière du frogman.
Représentez vous la grande scène d'ouverture du Gladiator de Ridley Scott : une sombre et froide forêt germanique emplie de gars hirsutes avec des culottes en fourrure et des haches acérées, qui ont pris leur dernier bain il y a deux ans quand la glace a cédé sous leurs pieds et qu'ils sont tombés accidentellement dans la rivière. Ajoutez ma voiture garée au milieu, juste derrière les catapultes du Général Maximus.

Vous avez le tableau.

Lorsqu'il fait 7° or 8° (Celsius, pour les non métrique systémiques parmi vous) à Paris, c'est en dessous de zéro ici et on chasse les sangliers dans les bois, on les tire avec nos fusils, on les finit avec nos dagues et puis on boit leur sang en forniquant avec nos femelles, nus dans les fourrés.

On s'amuse drôlement.

(Ok, j'en rajoute juste une couche - façon de parler - concernant la boisson de sang et la fornication de femelles. Desserrez vous un peu.)

Fin de la digression, retour à l'appareil mécanique : j'ai finalement pu me rendre sur Paris où, résistant à la tentation de tirer les veules parisiens et de boire leur sang en forniquant avec leur femelles, Merde in France et moi même étions chargé par le très estimé Roger L. Simon de mener son expédition anthropologique dédiée, sur le champ de bataille, à l'étude de la France post 11 septembre et des espèces singulières qu'elle abrite.

Roger va certainement blogger sur son expérience, et considérant qu'il est toujours dans son avion de retour vers Los Angeles, je ne vais pas gâcher son plaisir en révélant quoi que ce soit.
Qu'il soit simplement dit que, de lui même - cet homme en a une paire ou il est totalement inconscient. Peut-être les deux - ou avec nous, Roger a certainement eu un aperçu de la situation bien plus concret et pertinent qu'aucune des larmoyantes mièvreries dégoulinant du clapet de Woody Allen.
De lui même ou avec nous, il s'est rendu en des endroits ou les Woody Allen de ce monde - ainsi que les risibles apologistes de la vieille garde de la blogosphère française qui tentent désespérément de se convaincre que "Tout va bien en Frogistan, la preuve: y'a toujours la Tour Eiffel" - jamais ne vont et n'iront jamais, il a vu des choses qu'ils ne veulent pas voir et il a eu un aperçu de l'amère réalité dissimulée derrière les voilures miteuses de la Maison France.

Mais sûrement, Roger vous parlera de ça lorsqu'il aura fini de jouer avec le décalage horaire.

Ce fût une journée très intéressante et une excellente rencontre. Roger L. Simon est réellement un personnage d'envergure et, conjointement à l'émotion de rencontrer un tel homme de talent, l'honnêteté avec laquelle il aborde sa trajectoire personnelle dans le domaine des idées lui vaut définitivement mon respect.

Chapeau bas, M. Simon.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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Comments thread (10)

1142 - jkrank

jkrank
- Link

I. Am. So. Jealous.

1143 - the dissident frogman

the dissident frogman France
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Well, let's make a deal then: you let me borrow your John Rhys-Davies ([url=http://sofiasideshow.com/archives/000137.html#000137]http://sofiasideshow.com/archives/000137.html#000137[/url]) and I'll lend you my Roger L. Simon. And let's see if you too are going to be offered his last novel by the master himself, WITH a dedication. Ha! "Just to rub salt in some people's wounds" was it?

1144 - joye

joye
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Why do you always block your face in your pictures? Oh, I get it. It's to prevent your hordes of American fangirls from descending on France and attaching ourselves to you in parasitic fashion, right? Very tricky.

1145 - Valerie, the Texas

Valerie, the Texas
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Napalm? Boar's blood? Must be some wild parties held at that lair! For certain, BYOB or be sorry.

1146 - Valerie

Valerie
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Diss: When do you stop at the boulangerie for the requisite baguette to go with all that blood? Before or after the fornication?

1147 - Papertiger

Papertiger
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Perverts

1148 - Papertiger

Papertiger
- Link

When ( I can't conceive of failure at this point, fundamental change in the ME is inevitable ) Iraq is democratised and stable, and the other Middle Eastern dictators are overthrown by their publics, would the result of this victory for populist rule be felt in French suburbs as well? Lets hope so. We haven't lost a democracy to totalitarianism yet and it is not going to happen on my watch. DF, M.Merde, and Valerie, things will get better, I promise. Remember you might live here but it's my Planet and I like you guys. Merry Christmas, Papertiger the Californian

1149 - Joe

Joe
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Dude - i'm digging the snorkelling apparatus. Shall we call it "headgear"? Could a schoolgirl wear such a thing?

1150 - Valerie, the Texas

Valerie, the Texas
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Tigers who dwell in glass houses called California might reconsider name calling others. Roger Simon posted a thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. After reading Roger's observations, yet again, I cannot help but think that France is serving as a "morality play" to be a warning to others. A tale that we (America) should be heeding. The Socialists who are bleeding her to death and ignorirng the growing anit-Semitism did not come into political dominance over-night. They have been as patient as spiders, slowly, slowly spinning this web. This is no time for us to be smug, but watchful. Of France, and of our own situation in the U.S. We have seen Roger's thoughts, interested now to read yours good frogman. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to our gracious host and to all the visitors to the dacha.

1151 - julie de maupin

julie de maupin
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....Thus endeth the lesson... Nice suit, DF. Chanel or Gaultier? Very avant-garde; but is this really what one has to do for service over there? (smirk) Glad to hear you had a great time tho :) Have an outstanding holiday!!

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