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Agence France Press does not know the basics of ballistic

Daily archive: October 23rd, 2007

23rd

10/2007

7 years, 2 days, 1 hour, 14 minutes ago...

If it moves, tax it
Print × Imprimerthe dissident frogman • Tuesday, October 23, 2007 · 1636 zulu time.pdf

Stuff I'm glad I saved from my email grinders:
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his a..

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more, Tax
him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin ,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
" Taxes drove me to my doom..."

When he's gone, Do not relax,
Its time to apply the inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax, Building Permit Tax, CDL license Tax, Cigarette Tax, Corporate Income Tax, Dog License Tax, Excise Taxes, Federal Income Tax, Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA), Fishing License Tax, Food License Tax, Fuel Permit Tax, Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon), Gross Receipts Tax, Hunting License Tax, Inheritance Tax, Inventory Tax, IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax, Luxury Taxes Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Personal Property Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service Charge Tax Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax Sales Tax Recreational Vehicle Tax School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone Federal Excise Tax Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft Registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What the hell happened? Can you spell "politicians!"

And I still have to "press 1" for English.

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times.
France has all of that (replace "Federal" by state or national when appropriate), and much, much more. 42 cents per gallon of taxes? Bah, amateurs! Taxes make for 75% of the gasoline cost at the pump in France.

And that's still nothing compared to the rest. There is no limit to the "creativity" of the legislator when it comes to spoliation as a synonym for regulation, and France is a living proof of that. We've got a tax on another tax down here folks.

France is beyond salvation, so I beg you please, don't let your politicians in the US drag you down that road(1) the way ours in Europe did, and keep doing.
  1. There's a Reader's Digest pdf here, fine for a quick and cheap peek even though I'd still recommend the full version as one of the few books you definitely want to read in your life.


Creative Commons

7 years, 2 days, 2 hours, 20 minutes ago...

To encourage the others (some more)
Print × Imprimerthe dissident frogman • Tuesday, October 23, 2007 · 1530 zulu time.pdf

I've just found out that the convoluted array of filtering software that is supposed to keep the various pharmaceutical ads and other Mr. Winkie's Enlargement offers off my inbox and my radar has gone bonkers again.

As a result, some legitimate emails were caught and held in the custody of my proxy servers — while at the same time, I've seen more poetic(1) and unwanted messages, such as the following examples, invading my email client:
"People judge your [Mr. Winkie's -- Ed.] size by your shoes size. With [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] Enlarge Patch you don't have to wear bigger shoes to make women think you have a huge [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.]
Incidentally, I didn't know you could mislead women with bigger shoes. I've heard about bigger cars, yes, but bigger shoes? That sounds like a neat and affordable trick, at least compared to the price tag of a Ferrari. Anybody can confirm success using it?
If your [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] is small, even yoga won't help you
Which brings the question: then what the hell could yoga possibly be good for?
Blue whale's [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] is 3 meters because he tried [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] Enlarge Patch
Tested and approved then. I imagine that what's good for the blue whale is good enough for me — though I can only begin to guess the adequate, non misleading shoe size for a dude with a 3 meters trouser snake.

Oh and, since we're into poetry, this all brings to mind the words of old Bill(2). You know:
With everything that pretty is,
My lady sweet, arise:
Arise, arise!
Gosh, what a dirty mind. That Shakespeare guy sounds as horny as a blue whale.

All Mr. Winkie jokes aside, I'm quite frankly rather irritated, as I always am when such things happen (and they've been known to happen). I can't really say when it started to go wrong as I'm still making my way through the various Purgatory boxes that compose my multi-layered filtering system. On a good day, they catch spam mail in the thousand(3) with very few misses, so it may take some time before I can manually look through all of this. So far, I've found wrongfully entrapped legitimate email as old as 47 bloody days.
I'm making my way through it, and will answer any mail for which an answer might still be relevant, but in case you emailed me — and expected an answer — at some point in the past two months and are reading this, please don't hesitate to resend(4). As a matter of fact, it might even help me to spot the good mail more easily.

Too bad this turned out to be a hoax, really(5). It could definitely have encouraged the others.

And the open comments question today is: are women really that interested in the size of men's shoes?
  1. Admittedly, in a sick and twisted rather than Shakespearian way.
  2. Shakespeare, this time.
  3. Double that during the great spam tides that happen from time to time.
  4. I've lowered the walls, which means more spam in my inbox, but hopefully less good mail in the junk one.
  5. Yes, I'm dead serious. I do wish spammers either make amends and learn an honest way to earn a living, or die a brutal and premature death.


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