All right, all right, I know I said "enough with the French news for today" but this I simply couldn't resist:

"Armies - a legionnaire steals an armored vehicle in order to desert

(...) At the end of military exercises at the Camp de Sissone (Aisne) Wednesday night, the soldier sneaked an armored vehicle (VAB) generally used for the transport of troops.

At the wheel of the imposing vehicle — 6 meters long and close to 3 meters wide — the legionnaire drove for nearly 40 Km to get to the town of Reims, where the closest railway station could be found (...)

Thursday morning, the VAB was discovered right in the center of town, carefully parked in front of a shop, on a (legal) car park place."

Of course, the more informed among you already figured out that this is no desertion under the cover of a French military exercise, but a crucial part of said exercise and a pivotal strategy of the French Etat-Major : Retreat By Any Means Available and Evade Capture.

Considering that

As of Friday [the legionnaire] was still on the run.

We can call the operation a full success and give the guy his Monkey Tail¹ — If he ever comes back.

This is the third and final part of a 3 posts series of news most of the world shouldn't really care about: a few things French that just happened to happen around about now.

Finally, in the least surprising bottom stories of all, some Californians down there in LaLa-Land offered a golden award improbably named Oscar to some French turd, and woke up realizing that all they would get in return was a spit in the face, as the horrible little cunt¹ is exposed indulging in what will enter History as the most absurd and retarded — yet extremely common in France — kind of anti-Americanism, that of the Conspiracy Community known as "truthers".

As noted by the essential Tim Blair, that nuisance is French, actress, daughter of a mime and a former spokeswoman for Greenpeace, so what can you expect from people like that — And others from the same pit, like French actress Juliette Binoche — when even Sarkozy's top government members can be brought to voice the same views when publicly pressed to by any nobody from the truther community?

More interesting is this online poll, conducted by the French news channel TF1/LCI on the subject of yet another French celebrity accusing the US Administration of murdering its citizen for ominous and vaguely defined reasons. The results are on a dynamic page that can't be linked to directly, but here's a screenshot, as of this morning:



When asked "Are you shocked by the claims of Marion Cotillard on September 11", 56.1% of the 1264 respondents answer "No".

Bear in mind, ladies and gentlemen that TF1/LCI is a mainstream, right of center national news outlet, not some kind of insane anti-American and anti-Semite far-Right or Left online cesspool — its readership, in all likelihood and majority, is made of your average Sarkozy voting French.

When asked if they'd be shocked by Cotillard's claims, the (roughly) other half of the French political spectrum would also answer "No", while deploring that the poll doesn't allow them to add "I actually think she didn't go far enough".

Anyway, being French the broad quickly surrendered (in English here, and pretty much the same thing reported in French here) and had her lawyer declare that she "never intended to contest nor question the attacks of September 11, 2001" — which only means that she doesn't contest the attacks actually happened, the "true nature" of the attackers notwithstanding — and "regret the way old remarks have been taken out of context."

We are talking about such statements as:

"I think we’re lied to about a number of things: Coluche, [some dead French slapstick comic, who once ran for the presidential elections (all right, don't get me started here…) -- Ed], and September 11" (…) "I tend to favor the conspiracy theories" (...) "We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes, are they burned? There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burned for 24 hours.

It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [New York], in a few minutes [It was quite a bit more than a few minutes, moron -- Ed], the whole thing collapsed."

And

"c'était un gouffre à thunes parce qu'elles ont été terminées, il me semble, en 73, et pour recâbler tout ça, pour mettre à l'heure de toute la technologie, c'était beaucoup plus cher de faire des travaux et caetera que de les détruire". (they were a money sucker because they were achieved in 73, I think, and to rewire all that, and bring all the technology up to date, it would have cost a lot more to do it et caetera (sic) than to to destroy them.)

Or even the tired old Man on the Moon Conspiracy

"Did a man really walk on the moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it, and I really wondered. And in any case I don’t believe all they tell me, that’s for sure."

I say let the American public decide how these could have been taken "out of context", what said context could possibly have been, and if it matters in any way.

And since, apparently, this former Greenpeace activist and Champaign Socialist u-turned when she realized that her big empty head and the big noisy hole in it would cut in her way towards a substantial filthy Capitalist profit in prospective millions of Imperialist US Entertainment Industry dollars², I hope the American public will keep his hard-earned money and make sure she suffers a fate worse than the Dixie Chicks.

Unsurprisingly, the big worry on the French state radio France-Info this morning wasn't Cotillard's outrageous views, that in any decent society would buy her a rapid ticket to opprobrium and oblivion, but that her Hollywood career might now be in jeopardy.

You may think, in the light of that comment, that France-Info cares about Cotillard's American career, but that's because you're not used to the memes of French anti-Americanism: the point that is being made here, the secret handshake that will be recognized and acknowledged by the rest of the herd is that l'Amérique is a totalitarian society that practices la pensée unique (French for "single thought") in which if you speak against le consensus — and, what's more, speak "the truth" against them NeoCons — then you will be unfairly blacklisted and mistreated by all those American automatons under the control of the Evil Bush. And possibly deported to Gitmo.

This just in

On the right side of the Atlantic, Jules Crittended nails another one up the dork's ass, from the Boston Herald's News & Opinions taking from the Times of London that:

Cotillard will not apologize.

Fair enough, freedom of speech, thoughts and all that.

Liberty, however, being Freedom plus Responsibility let Marion learn her lesson straight from the American public.


There. That's enough French news for today. Profuse apologies to my readers for the affliction; I promise far more interesting entries in the near future, like "All about earthworms and other vermicomposting news - an exclusive report from the dissident frogman's desk", a fascinating Post-Modern essay "On the Proper Shelving of Socks" by the dissident frogman with lots of Philosophy in it, and the dissident frogman's sweet and sour roller coaster of a novel about a long awaited prospective son, "Waiting For American Remington Frogman"³.

The small stack of news most of the world really does not care about: a few things French that just happened to happen around about now continues with part 2 of 3.

Occupied territories, West¹ Bank, Paris, France: The French Intifada, lead by hooded "youths" whose ethnic background and religious beliefs Thou Shall Not Name, keeps its hold on the battlefield and the French State at bay. The French Police², still clueless and bewildered that thugs who reject the French State's authority and laws won't abide by the French State's authority and laws, receives praises for "keeping their cool and not firing back [Again -- Ed] even though they were shot at [Again -- Ed]" and notes, sadly, that "when officers "fell down", the shooters "laughed", which is admittedly not very nice of them.

In a nutshell, 6 masked thugs set an ambush by attacking a bakery, fled when 8 cops arrived, just to come back with 24 buddies minutes later (followed by the "rapid arrival of Police backup" on the scene), throwing stones and Molotov cocktails³. As many as two guys used shotguns [Again -- Ed] — including a pump-action one, the legal purchase of which can only happen under very strict conditions, making it nearly impossible for most of the population.

Faced with these two guys armed with one (1) semi-auto and one (1) hunting shotguns, the eight cops and their undetermined number of backup, all armed with automatic weapons and the full extent of the Laws of La République, managed no to shoot back [Again -- Ed], break out from the ambush and swiftly regroup at the station⁴ to fill in a formal report and complaint, and file it under "Having Gone There and Having Been Shot At [Again]".

The local secretary of the Alliance police union notes that "all of them are shocked" since, when "one goes out on an intervention of that kind, one does not expect to be met with gun shots.", leaving you and me puzzled and wondering what the French Police exactly expects to be met with when it goes after the bad guys — particularly the kind that dwells in the Parisian suburbs. There is, however, some method to this madness and the reasoning behind this astounding display of absolute lack of the most basic common sense is that the French actually managed to convince themselves that gun control works. Ergo, it's a total surprise when outlaws are found not to respect the letter of the law.

The French government's response is pretty much "more of the same" [Again -- Ed]. Sarkozy's Minister of the Interior (i.e. in charge of the civilian⁵ police force), Michèle Alliot-Marie, is "outraged" and

"willing to see these heinous acts repressed with utter firmness, as, without the appropriate judiciary answer, they will rapidly become commonplace"

... Thus showing how out of touch with The Real World® she really is — this has become commonplace long ago — and how helpless her office is.

Michèle, ma belle please explain how you will put up "the appropriate" response when your own police force won't fight back? Call the U.S. Marines [Again -- Ed]?

And now for a small stack of news most of the world really does not care about: a few things French that just happened to happen around about now.

This is part 1 of 3.

Watermelon Cécile Duflot, France's Green party national secretary, married the brother of Holier-Than-Thou Social Justice mountebank and wife killer Bertrand "Bone Breaker" Cantat¹ and has conceived a fourth child, casting in the process a much somber perspective on the future of this country, as the Leftists' reproduction rate in France becomes almost as alarming as the Islamic one.

Those culturally superior parents of the child named the poor thing Térébentine, explicitly after the common noun térébenthine (muted "H" removed), which is the French word for the turpentine oil solvent.

No, I am absolutely, definitely, totally not kidding you.

As a result, let it be known that I'm available and looking for a fine woman who shares my utmost skepticism² towards man-made global warming and my passion for muscle cars, and will accept to bear a child whom we shall lovingly call Gasoline — if she happens to be a girl³.