Fear not, this is not going to turn into "Frogman's Almanac", and I'm not going to make it an habit of posting jokes and funny stories.
However, with respect to some of my recent personal-professional experiences, this one rings so true that I felt like sharing it with you:
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone. He surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog.”
A bit long, but if you ever had to deal with these types — or worse, be involved in a business relationship with them — I'm sure the joke captures and sums up the whole experience.
From someone with much more expertise and credibility than I will ever have, comes this:
There is no more supporting the troops without supporting their mission. If you oppose the war, you oppose the troops period. If you are actively undermining their efforts by running your mouth in the US Congress, then you absolutely do not support the troops.
Enough said, but much more to read:
way to go Uncle Jimbo.
For French Minister Christine Boutin, "it is possible" that 9/11 was an inside job. Bush's job, of course.
Here's doing for France what
Memri does for the arabo-muslim world: translating and adding subtitles so you can better understand the enemy's mindset.
If you're reading this through the RSS feed, be advised that the video clip will most likely not show — I have not setup enclosures for now.
I'll work around putting this up on YouTube and such later.
One remark: I've translated those Conspiracy Frogs as literally as semantically possible, which explains some
odd formulations. As a matter of fact, both the "Truther" and the Minister have a rather horrendous command of their mother tongue in this interview — proving that in France, one can be uneducated
and stupid, and yet still make it on top of the media and political ladders. It's the
Egalité stupid!
The rest is summarily explained at the end of the clip, but feel free to raise questions in the comments.
Well, after all I love the planet, just like the next guy.
So when critically-acclaimed entertainers such as
Sheryl Crow don't hesitate to put
their our collective ass on the line by pushing forward innovative ways to save resources at the cost of just a few minor defects in the system (a slightly elevated smelly fingers and crusty underwear ratio), the least I can do is fire up the brain farm and do my part in the struggle for sustainability.
Frogman's Sustainable+Design #001:
After decades of
Cold War, living in the fear of the Nuclear
Winter, you've finally defeated Communism and find yourself in the middle of a Global
Warming situation, with empty NATO cal 7.62 mm in 5 rd clips bandoleers ammo boxes lying around — such as the one pictured on top.
Are you going to junk them? That won’t be very sustainable of you. Just reuse them.
Saving the Earth, one bullet at a time.
Photo ©2007 the dissident frogman
(click the thumbnails for a larger view)
They make great, very sturdy
ammo boxes(1), very handy to carry with you in the field.
Now go and shoot me a polar bear.
Bon, après tout j’aime la planète comme le premier quidam venu.
Alors quand d’éminents saltimbanques comme
Sheryl Crow n’hésitent pas à mettre
leur nos culs collectifs sur la ligne de feu en promouvant des solutions innovantes pour économiser les ressources, au prix, il est vrai, de quelques inconvénients mineurs (un ratio légèrement élevé de doigts qui puent et de fonds de sous-vêtements qui croustillent), le moins que je puisse faire est de lancer la machine à citrouiller et d’accomplir mon devoir dans la lutte pour le renouvelable.
Le Design+Renouvelable de Frogman n°1 :
Après des décennies de Guerre
Froide, ayant vécu dans la peur de l’
Hiver Nucléaire, vous avez finalement vaincu le Communisme et vous retrouvez dans un contexte de
Réchauffement Global, avec des boites de munitions OTAN cal. 7.62 en clips de 5 rd vides, qui trainent un peu partout — telle que celle reproduite ci-dessous.
Allez-vous les benner ? Voilà qui ne serait pas très renouvelable de votre part. Réutilisez-les, tout simplement.
Sauvez la Terre, balle après balle.
Photo ©2007 the dissident frogman
(cliquez la miniature pour zoomer)
Elles font d’excellentes, et très solides,
boîtes de munition(1), très pratique pour emmener avec vous sur le terrain.
Maintenant, allez me tirer un ours polaire.
Can't sleep, monkey-headed dog will eat me.
Verily, the cunning and cruelty of the Crusaders know no boundaries.
Iraq:«Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange man-eating, bear-like beasts into the area to sow panic.
(...) UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
(...) One housewife, Suad Hassan, 30, claimed she had been attacked by one of the badgers as she slept.
"My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer," she said. "It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey," she told AFP.»
Iran:"In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran's borders," state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."
Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran's borders.»
Ynetnews adds that "The use of rodents has not been documented in the past.",
a claim easily debunked and yet another example of sloppy reporting and Zionist bias towards honorable Iranian police commanders and intelligence operatives.
France's secret animal warfare program.
Photo ©2007 the dissident frogman
(click the thumbnails for a larger view)
I addition, I have personally witnessed another secret experiment, for which I can and shall henceforth provide photographic evidence. At a French facility that will remain undisclosed, dogs are routinely made to sleep with (presumably man-eating) badgers, in order to produce unnatural hybrids against nature, endowed with dreadful ferocity and inbred Islamophobia, that could be unleashed on France's reckless Muslim minority to quell future riots.
Plus, if they wag their tails at you,
your penis will melt(1).
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