Here's Grimmy answering Dennis_Crane's legitimate puzzlement on the alleged "link between the earth getting warmer and our country's security".

Considering the style and the wit, I suspect Grimmy is in fact a pseudonymous Donald Rumsfeld. So let's thank former Secretary of Defense for this explanation, because I was as puzzled as Dennis:

The linkage supposedly goes like this:

As the have nots get more and more have notty then they’ll act out and get pissy at those that aren’t so have notish. So, droughts will force migrations, etc etc.

And those of us who are still in the greedy rat bastard level of have it allish wont want to share with the icky have notties. So the have notties will have no choice but to kill us and take our stuffs.

And, it will, of course, be all our fault, because we’re just evil that way.

That said, the great thing with being on the have it allish side, is that among the stuffs we have that the have notties want to take away from us, we find all sorts of boomsticks, the M1A2 Abrams and the F-22 Raptor.

The have notties have mostly machetes and a few Ak-47, but I'm told they can't shoot for sh*t. Plus they're not very well fed "because we're just evil that way." ⁽¹⁾

As a follow-up to this post — and a warm up entry after a week long hiatus caused in no small part by the spot of trouble in which my old man managed to put himself, we've got a couple of closely related news in a much befitting timing, if you ask me.

First, the New Party (UK) publishes the High Court judgement on Stewart Dimmock's legal action — I urge you to visit the New Party website (which is going straight into my blogroll anyway, as this look like one of the very few sane initiative that came from British politics lately, at least since the Tories went for the very Social-Sarkozic David Cameron and his preposterous drift towards the Great Global Ecoloscare game) — but this is just too good and ought to be republished on as many sites as possible:

The decision by the government to distribute Al Gore's film An Inconvenient Truth has been the subject of a legal action by New Party member Stewart Dimmock. The Court found that the film was misleading in nine respects and that the Guidance Notes drafted by the Education Secretary's advisors served only to exacerbate the political propaganda in the film.

In order for the film to be shown, the Government must first amend their Guidance Notes to Teachers to make clear that 1.) The Film is a political work and promotes only one side of the argument. 2.) If teachers present the Film without making this plain they may be in breach of section 406 of the Education Act 1996 and guilty of political indoctrination. 3.) Nine inaccuracies have to be specifically drawn to the attention of school children.

The inaccuracies are:

• The film claims that melting snows on Mount Kilimanjaro evidence global warming. The Government's expert was forced to concede that this is not correct.
• The film suggests that evidence from ice cores proves that rising CO2 causes temperature increases over 650,000 years. The Court found that the film was misleading: over that period the rises in CO2 lagged behind the temperature rises by 800-2000 years.
• The film uses emotive images of Hurricane Katrina and suggests that this has been caused by global warming. The Government's expert had to accept that it was "not possible" to attribute one-off events to global warming.
• The film shows the drying up of Lake Chad and claims that this was caused by global warming. The Government's expert had to accept that this was not the case.
• The film claims that a study showed that polar bears had drowned due to disappearing arctic ice. It turned out that Mr Gore had misread the study: in fact four polar bears drowned and this was because of a particularly violent storm.
• The film threatens that global warming could stop the Gulf Stream throwing Europe into an ice age: the Claimant's evidence was that this was a scientific impossibility.
• The film blames global warming for species losses including coral reef bleaching. The Government could not find any evidence to support this claim.
• The film suggests that sea levels could rise by 7m causing the displacement of millions of people. In fact the evidence is that sea levels are expected to rise by about 40cm over the next hundred years and that there is no such threat of massive migration.
• The film claims that rising sea levels has caused the evacuation of certain Pacific islands to New Zealand. The Government are unable to substantiate this and the Court observed that this appears to be a false claim.

Ouch at the power of nine.

Stewart Dimmock and the New Party just proved that just because they're only happy when it rains and want you to die young, broken, freezing and starving, doesn't mean that Al Gore and the Environazis can't be challenged successfully. We can only hope that this judgement will bring many others; In the words of Che Guevara, Hasta la Victoria siempre.⁽¹⁾

Next, Albert Arnold Gore⁽²⁾ was awarded the Nobel Peace prize. Just like Yasser Arafat and Jimmy Carter.

And that's all there is to say about that⁽³⁾.

An Inconvenient ruling for Al Gore's Global Fear Factory: the former US Vice-President turned Enviro-Bogeyman won't be allowed to terrify little British children with impunity and the helping hand of the most Orwellian side of Her Majesty's Brownies.

Schools will have to issue a warning before they show pupils Al Gore's controversial film about global warming, a judge indicated yesterday.

And the hero who stood up against his children's indoctrination and brainwashing is Stewart Dimmock, a "lorry driver from Dover with children aged 11 and 14"

Stewart Dimmock said the former U.S. Vice-President's documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, is unfit for schools because it is politically biased and contains serious scientific inaccuracies and 'sentimental mush'.

He wants the video banned after it was distributed with four other short films to 3,500 schools in February. (...)

The outcome marks a partial victory for Mr Dimmock, who had accused the 'New Labour Thought Police' of indoctrinating youngsters by handing out thousands of Climate Change Packs to schools.

Thus I bid you Sir Stewart Dimmock, champion of Truth, and a proud descendant of Saint George, slayer of the dragon to whom younglings were offered as human sacrifice.

David Miliband, who was Environment-Secretary when the school packs were announced, said at the time: 'The debate over the science of climate change is well and truly over.'

You serpent! Not until the fat lady sings it ain't.

And not as long as Sir Dimmock has a spear to thrust.

James R. Gaine, with a cheery flippancy of the tone, falls for the SarkoShow hook, line and sinker, and conjures the shades of the much vaunted French-American Revolution friendship⁽¹⁾ — a recurring theme for this Paris resident and former managing editor of People, Life and Times magazine, as it would seem — in the embarrassingly naïve America's friend again: France!

Now I can't vouch for the Red Browncoats bashing delivered to post-Tony Britain by Mr. Gaines, as I have not been following the Insular events lately, put I must say I find it rich to see him reprove Britain on her move "from combat to overwatch" in Iraq, and approve France on Sarkozy's vacation in New Hampshire in the same piece.

But maybe that's just me.

The rest of his Andante with Variations in Francophilia Major rings like a béni oui-oui ⁽²⁾ singing his little song at the tune of Sarkozy's relentless posturing and style over substance — "undermine the 35-hours workweek, ting-a-ling-a-ling, put France to work, ding-a-ling-a-ling, Persian carpet-bombing, ding-a-ling ding dong."

Unfortunately, as I listen to Gaines the Jolly Minstrel singing the praise of Prince Sarkozy, all I can hear is the inner me chanting The Song of Jamie the Happy Mouthpiece. A nice one too, though a bit repetitive.⁽³⁾

And it only goes louder, as the minstrel climaxes with the following quote:

"I want to tell the American people that the French people are their friends," he [Sarkozy] told The New York Times recently. "We are not simply allies. I am proud of being a friend of the Americans." He admitted that "a small part of the French elite" was anti-American, but added that this "in no way corresponds to what the French people think."

Boy, I sure missed this one⁽⁴⁾.

Prince Sarkozy's frustration in the face of the American public not flocking en masse to the Champs-Elysées to wave tiny French paper flags as he drives by — after all the NYPD tee-shirt-ing, Bush buddy-ing and Iranian up-yours-ing he's done — must be growing by the minute.

Because there's no other reason to explain why he'd up the Neo-French pro-American rhetoric from level 1: Cheap Declaration of Intent to level 10: Fairy Tales and Mythical Creatures like that.

The Halliburton-Crittenden industrial-journalistic complex's war profiteering expedition 'n Iraq sounds more like picking peanuts out of poo compared to this industrious Iraqi fellow's venture. But then, he had connections.

Now, I never wear a watch⁽¹⁾, and as far as I'm concerned, goldy always rime with tacky. I also have a fine Swiss-steel bayonet that makes a terrific hunting dagger, so you can keep your piece of Saddamite rust, Jules.

However, if you ever consider selling the brass profile of Saddam, I have a toilet door that fits. Give me a quote.

Apart from that, I really want to know how one can hide "among [one's] personal belongings millions in souvenirs", when I've been to the US only once, and hardly managed to pack a few tee-shirts⁽²⁾ in my luggage on the way back.