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Piggy Wiggy Sat Under The Tree. ♠ Petit Cochon, Viens Dans Ma MaisonYou're not logged-in, so your comment will be held for approval; check the "Help" tab for details.
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DISCLAIMER: in my experience, the following doesn't apply to 99% of my readership. Unfortunately, experience also shows it has to be written down for the remaining 1%.
The short version, when it comes to my comments policy, goes down to a line taken from the (mediocre) second opus of the Matrix:
"I built this place. Down here, I make the rules."
Let's elaborate a bit:
AVERTISSEMENT : selon mon expérience, ce qui suit ne s'applique pas à 99% de mes lecteurs. Malheureusement, l'expérience prouve aussi qu'il faut que cela soit écrit pour le pourcentage restant.
La version courte, concernant ma politique pour les commentaires, se résume à une ligne tirée du second (médiocre) volet de Matrix:
"J'ai construit cet endroit. Ici, je fais les lois."
Élaborons un brin :
If you need further help with the site, you may want to check the Field Manual. Ultimately, you can also drop me a line. I usually don't answer jellyfish and buttermonkey(1) hybrids however.
Si vous avez besoin de plus d'aide avec le site, jetez un œil au manuel d'instruction. Au pire, vous pouvez également m'envoyer un mot. J'ai cependant tendance à ne pas répondre aux fruits de l'union d'une méduse et d'un cul de singe.
| Silk | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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Very nice. I like it. All 7 reasons.
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| dave nalle | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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Speaking as an elitist pig I fully endorse all pig related activities, including waving pig flags at jihadistas as they pass by. Perhaps we should adopt the pig as our battle emblem in the great gallic tradition of battle pigs armored and spiked to run under horses and disembowel them. How to modernize that concept? Perhaps we strap an explosive belt to a piggy and release him in a jihadist stronghold so they all get splattered with unclean meat? That might be kind of mean for the piggy. Let’s do it with ornery warthogs instead. They still count.
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| Steven Terrell, Sr. | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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Merry Christmas!!!
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| valerie on vacation | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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lol lol lol lol oink oink merry christmas, diss. and an oinking new year!
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| csva | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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Merry Christmas!!
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| Chad | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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haha! Excellent! I was sad when the Fear Piggy WIggy article required a subscription, cos I’m too dern lazy to subscribe. Kick a—and take names frogman! Merry Christmas!
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| B. Durbin | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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I think we’ll stick with the dimetrodon eating the sheep. Tradition, you know. And thank you, everyone, for the kind wishes; I can only say Merry Pirates and Happy Ninjas* in return. *(credit Rob Durbin)
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| Phil Free | 8 years, 5 months ago | |
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Monsieur Frogman, I have been adding pig(let)s under my Christmas tree for the past three years although I never really made the connection. Une Bonne Année Nouvelle à tout le monde!
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| Howard e | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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IF A PIG COULD TALK Come little children and let’s go visit the zoo, To observe the animals and learn from them too. Imagine, if they were human…like you and me, Looking in the mirror…how unhappy they’d be! Just think—if a pig could talk, now don’t you suppose That it’d be squealing about its’ funny flat nose? The ponderous rhinoceros would be angry about Those two huge ugly horns upon its great snout! Listen to the Kangaroo, to her low moans and sighs, She’s just so upset about her tremendous thighs. While Mrs. Skunk just keeps babbling, “My perfumes not right,” As she meanders around in the dark of night. Hear that monkey scream out in a loud anguished wail. She’s crying because she simply hates her long kinky tail, While the hippopotamus grunts ‘cause she’s too fat, “But, tomorrow,” she winked, “I’ll do something ‘bout that.” Now just think, my dear, how dreadful it’d be, If animals had manners like humanity! There crouches the gorilla thumping his great chest, “I’m too hot,” he’s grumbling, “in this hairy old vest.” While a parrot begins squawking from high in a tree, “Oh, I hate this large beak. How’d you like to be me?” The tall ostrich spoke up, “Gosh, my legs are too thin!” Yet, in each race that she ran, she always would win. The giraffe was incensed and he had to complain, His neck was too long, his head hangs out in the rain.” Then the ugly old wart-hog shed copious tears, ‘cause no one had visited her for thirty-odd years. Mrs. Leopard is irked, “wearing this same old fur coat,” And refers to her mate as “a stingy old goat.” The huge elephant trumpeted, “That’s all just bunk, What I’d like most is a nose instead of this trunk.” The old Jersey cow mooed, “Just look at this udder, It’s hereditary, folks, just like me mudder.” Each one of us has a problem, my little dear, But let’s just listen, for there’s yet more that we’ll hear. Then that sly old lynx spoke up, “Not to trivialize, But what bothers me most is the shape of my eyes” The rattle-snake came crawling along the hard earth, “Oh, if God has just given me legs at my birth.” And then old mother hen, a’cackling so loudly, “Look at my funny head. I’d wear yours more proudly.” Then from deep under-ground, loud wails from a small mole, “I’m blind as a bat if I come out of my hole.” Look all around you, dears, and then surely you’ll see, That we’re not as bad off as we might think we be. The point I would make, little sisters and brothers, Looks aren’t as important as how we treat others. The popular athlete might act rudely and vain, Others friendly and happy with faces so plain. While handicapped people might be helpful and kind, Behind a mask of good looks may dwell a dark mind. In the animal kingdom, there’s much that seems wrong, But in spite of their problems they all get along. They adapt to conditions…use what they’re given, That’s the way they survive, and how they keep livin’. For we all enter life with a blemish or two, What you’ll find most important are the things that you do, What you say, how you act, using talents you’ve got, Never pretending to friends you’re someone you’re not. Learn to show kindness to your fellow man, Make it your Number One Rule of your whole life’s plan! Copyright 1994. Revised 1995, 2001 2003 H. E. Morseburg
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| John Sabotta | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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Merry Christmas! Dissident Frogman, the French are all right, because that most beautiful and terrifying of all horror films, Franju’s YEUX SANS VISAGE is being released on DVD! Yay! The black Citroen of death rides again~ to a great Maurice Jarre score! Someday the French will remember the heroic spirit of Fantomas (he is cool, and more than a match for bin Laden) (Also recently saw the silent version of JUDEX! France is neat! )
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| John Sabotta | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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By the way, I want a 2CV. A sinister black 2CV. For my experimental subjects. And a sinister (yet beautiful) French female assistant in a black leather trenchcoat. With plenty of chloroform.
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| the dissident frogman | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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I hate to tell you that John, but when it comes to sinister Citroën, the 2CV may not be the weapon of choice. I mean this is the dream car of the average post-68 marxist student for life and vintage 68 student turned marketing director. In my opinion, they’re more pathetic than sinister. No, my advice would be to look into the Citroën DS for instance. De Gaulle had one as a president, and that was freakin’ sinister—although unlike Fantomas’ one, de Gaulle’s DS couldn’t turn into a plane (though it almost turned into a coffin once, thank to the OAS. However even as terrorists the French are piling up failures, so it kept rolling with a living authoritarian in it.) You could also get yourself a Citroën CX. I had two in a row so I can assure you it’s a cool car, but more than that: Master Jacques Chirac, the King of the Thieves himslef, had one when he eventually reached the state of head of the state (some even go as far as saying he was properly elected, but I can’t be that bold) and he toured Paris at night to celebrate, then went to collect the keys of the French Republic from the former (and defeated) crook who left in a black Citroën XM. I’m sure you’ll agree that’sprobably as sinister as you can get.
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| Mike H. | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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DF, Cox and Forcum are having an auction for a piece of their artwork. The proceeds will go to an org. that is helping in the relief effort.
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| Oyster | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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How refreshing this is. I shall add you to my evergrowing list of must reads!
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| the dissident frogman | 8 years, 4 months ago | |
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... And don’t mess with Texas. Never. Never-never-never-never. Well, after all, that’s your skin and your life, buddy.
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| Lexington Green | 8 years ago | |
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So historical authenticity means nothing to you? Jesus was born in Bethlehem, a Jewish town. Jews did not keep pigs. There were no pigs there. So, a nativity scene does not have any little pig statutes in it. Very simple. Every Crusader knows these facts. But, keep on being creative. You might do better next time.
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Post title: Piggy Wiggy Sat Under The Tree. ♠ Petit Cochon, Viens Dans Ma Maison
Date: 24th December, 2004