the dissident frogman · time to take sides

Here's a survival tip for you urban types, in case you find yourself forced to sleep in bear country without a dog to alert you and a rifle to protect yourself: you can define a reasonably protected perimeter—mark your territory if you will—and keep Teddy at bay by peeing around your campsite.

Here's a caveat: it only works with male pee. While it saves our fair ladies the embarrassment of performing the duck-and-crawl routine around the tent, it means you'll either have to be a male or carry one with you.

Here's an extra tip: do not, under any circumstance, combine that strategy with this piece of gear. Consequences could be dire if nature calls for an extra layer of protection in the middle of the night.

Here's another caveat: it only seems to work on bears and has no noticeable effect on other calamities, such as Socialists, bureaucrats and other tax collection agents.

Having said that, I'll risk the bet that your Liberal neighbor might feel less inclined to come at your fence and gloat over President-elect B Hussein Obama once he's witnessed you (or your hubby) taking a leak around the yard in broad daylight.

Might be worth a try.