the dissident frogman · time to take sides

Frankly the most baffling about the whole Hollywood stardom thing is that they manage to make us forget, or at least overlook, the fact that when you get down to it, all these actors are really nothing more than a bunch of buffoons and jesters—with a large variety of personal issues for many, if not most of them.

See Matt Damon here, who “condemns” Sarah Palin and hear why I believe it’s a good thing. I mean, we have this guy who plays rough, streetwise and corrupt cops in Sorcese’s uninspired gangster movies as well as lean, mean killing machines in the action-rich though memory-short Bourne trilogy. Yet this tough character is stammering and pissing his pants (quote: “this is the scary thing”, “terrifying”, “it’s crazy") as he shares with us his visions of Sarah Palin descending upon the White House from the frozen forests—and small towns—of Alaska, riding dinosaurs and holding nuclear fire in her right hand as she faces down Vladimir Putin with a hockey stick in the left¹.

Now, if among the male American voters with big titanium balls and laugh-in-the-face-of-death tattoos, who hunt Grizzly bears with their Victorinox Spartan 1.3603 just because they believe the bear deserves a chance and a fair fight, there was still anyone feeling a bit embarrassed at the idea of voting for a girl, I reckon Damon’s wimpish exhibition just signed these wild-wild hunks on the Palin ticket.

Score 1 for Sarah.

The same goes for ageing bimbos like Pamela Anderson, caught here exposing the full extend of her wit and reasoning on Sarah Palin—that’s about ten words folks, including one interjection and one expletive—thus demonstrating that if silicon could speak, she’d be more advised to let her boob job do the talking.

Nevertheless, I see that “intervention” as nothing if not positive for Mrs. Palin as well: Anderson looks like a hooker, talks like a hooker and, considering her dedication in a not so distant past to share the full details of her intimacy with the rest of the world, she even acts like one—or at least used to, when she was younger.

So I’ll wager that any female American voter worth her weight in gonads will decide whose side she’s on in less time than it takes Pamela Anderson to open her mouth and *beep* it. Yes, we’re talking a very short time.

Score 2 for Sarah. Next up, Hobo Superstar Nick Nolte speaking out against Sarah Palin?

[Notice: again, if you’re catching this through an RSS reader, you’re not getting the parodic video, so you may want to hit the old-fashioned web page. I know, I know, I must do something about it and push the audio/video enclosures down the XML feed. Look, why don’t you just sue me and call it a day?]