the dissident frogman · time to take sides

James R. Gaine, with a cheery flippancy of the tone, falls for the SarkoShow hook, line and sinker, and conjures the shades of the much vaunted French-American Revolution friendship⁽¹⁾ — a recurring theme for this Paris resident and former managing editor of People, Life and Times magazine, as it would seem — in the embarrassingly naïve America's friend again: France!

Now I can't vouch for the Red Browncoats bashing delivered to post-Tony Britain by Mr. Gaines, as I have not been following the Insular events lately, put I must say I find it rich to see him reprove Britain on her move "from combat to overwatch" in Iraq, and approve France on Sarkozy's vacation in New Hampshire in the same piece.

But maybe that's just me.

The rest of his Andante with Variations in Francophilia Major rings like a béni oui-oui ⁽²⁾ singing his little song at the tune of Sarkozy's relentless posturing and style over substance — "undermine the 35-hours workweek, ting-a-ling-a-ling, put France to work, ding-a-ling-a-ling, Persian carpet-bombing, ding-a-ling ding dong."

Unfortunately, as I listen to Gaines the Jolly Minstrel singing the praise of Prince Sarkozy, all I can hear is the inner me chanting The Song of Jamie the Happy Mouthpiece. A nice one too, though a bit repetitive.⁽³⁾

And it only goes louder, as the minstrel climaxes with the following quote:

"I want to tell the American people that the French people are their friends," he [Sarkozy] told The New York Times recently. "We are not simply allies. I am proud of being a friend of the Americans." He admitted that "a small part of the French elite" was anti-American, but added that this "in no way corresponds to what the French people think."

Boy, I sure missed this one⁽⁴⁾.

Prince Sarkozy's frustration in the face of the American public not flocking en masse to the Champs-Elysées to wave tiny French paper flags as he drives by — after all the NYPD tee-shirt-ing, Bush buddy-ing and Iranian up-yours-ing he's done — must be growing by the minute.

Because there's no other reason to explain why he'd up the Neo-French pro-American rhetoric from level 1: Cheap Declaration of Intent to level 10: Fairy Tales and Mythical Creatures like that.