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17th

04/2009

2359 hits • 10 months, 4 weeks, 2 days, 8 hours, 41 minutes ago...

Millennia of civilization, and then Ashton Kutcher
Print × Imprimer the dissident frogman • Friday, April 17, 2009 · 1500 zulu time
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In Media Morons

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The big event in the social-media bobosphere at this moment is that Ashton Kutcher [He of the sinister North-Korean State-propagandish video "I pledge (to worship and obey the Dear Leader)" fame] has "won" a "race" against CNN by reaching the one million followers1 mark to his Twitter thingy.

In effect, this means that the little twerp has found more than a million of other twats willing to lend their continued attention to his fascinating "tweets" under the nom de plume "aplusk", such as:
lol RT @gembuild: @aplusk will RED put his foot in your ass if you LOOSE?
Or:
I think I've acquired some type of virus that is taking down my wifi... sabotage? lol
Or even:
Thanks dude lol RT @jeremybunner: i think ppl are following CNN bc they think @aplusk is a douche.
Douche, indeed — at least that one makes sense.

That's just a sample. I pulled the hard work of rummaging through Kutcher's seemingly endless flow of retarded teenage syntax so you don't have to. Now slowly awake to the realization that there is, at this moment in mankind's (globally) glorious history, more than a million of our fellow naked bags of water and calcium with just enough thinking matter2 to follow that kind of blabber every day, several times a day.

Gives you the creeps yet? Wait, that's not all: realize that this is the kind of folk — Yes, I mean the cretin who graces the world with such insightful snippets as "Thanks dude lol i think ppl are following CNN bc they think i is a douche" for instance — who are, in effect, the bulk of what we cannot avoid to call the international elite, for lack of a better... Well, elite.

If you're American, it's even worse: you also have to realize that they are running your country at this very moment. I feel your pain.

The so-called "web 2.0/social media" movement is a venture capital-wasting scam brought to us by a crowd of bleeding-heart iPoded/iPhoned Socialist socialites, but there is no escaping reality: with public performances such as Kutcher's "tweets" we are reminded, once again, that their leaders are dribbling imbeciles, advancing in front of a rank and file made up of dull, conformist and unthinking human2 automatons.

And that is good news — at least in the long run, for as far as the short run is concerned, there is little hope left when you know that Oprah just joined the herd of twats. Or is it Twits? Whatever.
  1. Yes, followers. These people are all about the cult of personality. Their own — when they successfully convince themselves of having any — or The Obama's.
  2. Yeah, I'm using the term very loosely.


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