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Agence France Press does not know the basics of ballistic



No sleep till al-Ǧannah

Endgame: The Mohamed is Dead (Thursday, around 11:30)

Well, what do you know? Looks like the whole business of shutting down power and moving operators into the building didn't spell "Assault" after all. Maybe it's French-bashing joke time, like wondering who's going to surrender to whom.

TF1 has started a new page, so I'll do the same. This will be the continuation of Murder by Mohamed: the latest in French Jihad

  • 00:30 Guéant tells Reuters "There is no assault". According to the ministry of the Interior, these (shutting down power, I presume) are just "intimidation maneuvers to apply pressure on the maniac [nice twist here to avoid any reference to Islamic terrorism by using the generic French word "forcené" ("maniac"), a familiar term used in the French press whenever someone goes through a massive nervous breakdown and barricades himself in his house after shooting his neighbors or his own wife and kids—DF] who apparently changed his mind and doesn't want to surrender anymore". Well, he's a second generation immigrant after all, he probably did not fully integrate the whole Frenchy surrendering gist yet.

  • 01:22 The wait. TF1 feels compelled to inform us that absolutely nothing is happening. At a slow pace.

  • 01:35 (approx.) Three detonations according to Reuters. Smaller than the flashbang noise earlier. TF1 says it could be firearm, but hasten to add that they have no idea on their origin. That's sharp reporting, that is.

  • 02:15 Quiet again, but TF1 switches from sharp reporting to wild presumptions and states that these detonations could be a trick to try the Mohamed's resistance.

  • 05:35 Three bangs, again. TF1 finds two "sources close to the investigation" but forget to ask their names. Still, "they" formally confirm the detonations are not signaling the final assault". Into a feat of modern reporting, they dig deeper and find a "specialist" who, despite having seemingly no immediately available patronymic identification to provide, still manages to inform the daring TF1 news editors that the bang-bangs "could indeed come from stun grenades, used to try the Mohamed's alertness and weigh on the negotiations". As this unnamed specialist doesn't seem to be aware that the Mohamed isn't negotiating since yesterday evening, the TF1 stumbles on a second Specialist With No Name who claims that bang-bang-bangs could also herald the assault, as the first bang blows the door and the others incapacitate the target.

    If I was to indulge in sharp reporting à la TF1, I'd wildly presume that these name-challenged specialists are the editor's nephew who derives his acute knowledge of everything bang-bang-bang from hours of extensive training on Counter-strike. No, seriously. You have no idea how ridiculously lazy and incompetent the French press is.

  • 06:25, 07:16 TF1 fills the inaction with blabber on this being one of the longest missions of the RAID (the previous one being the 1993 maniac who planned to blow himself up in a Neuilly school), and on yet another sources without a name who informs us that the Mohamed seems to be a little bit closed up since yesterday. Sharp, sharp, sharp.

TF1 does the completely broken timeline again, and in a different, and chronologically-challenged page, manages to slip in the following information from Guéant on RTL radio:

According to the ministry of the Interior, the Mohamed wishes to die guns blazing. Guéant also says that he "hopes" the "suspected motorcycle killer" [still grossly dodging the Islamic nature of the scumbag] is "still alive" in his flat, as he is surprised there had been no reaction from the Mohamed after the detonations around him during the night. The ministry finds it "somewhat strange that he did not react", particularly after the RAID blew up his windows shutters. Moreover, Guéant adds that they've "heard two gunshots, but don't know what it means".

Well, one of France most famous case of political corruption conveniently ending in blood is that of Bérégovoy, Prime Minister under France's beloved Socialist president Mitterrand, who shot himself in the head. Twice. So there you go.

Final update: the Mohamed is dead

Things suddenly went down this morning:

  • 09:10 Guéant is on the scene, saying "nothing new".

  • 09:50 Movement around the building, RAID operators repositioning, police entering a nearby building, stretcher brought forth.

  • 10:30 Three detonations, yet the assault still doesn't seem to be on.

  • 10:55 TF1's says their "source" reveals that the RAID follows a slow progression strategy, and that the assault could last for hours, depending on the lay of the Mohamed's flat.

  • 11:00 So much for TF1's "source" on slow progression: another "source close to the investigation" reveals that although they still don't know if the Mohamed is still alive, the RAID is inside the apartment.

  • 11:07 Mohamed Merah reportedly entrenched in his bathroom. RAID reportedly "smashing through the walls one by one to get to him" and opting for the "slow progression strategy". Slower than going through the door, that's for sure.

  • 11:27 Heavy detonations and gunfire around the Mohamed's flat.

  • 11:38 Let the People rejoice: the Mohamed is dead; shot during the assault, while trying to flee through his bathroom window [a tactic known in certain circles as the Fargo Strategy—DF] with a Kalashnikov and a handbag or satchel, the content of which has not been revealed. Three cops wounded unfortunately, including one in critical condition.

  • 12:03 Guéant confirms that Mohamed is dead.

Kudos to the assault teams, keep the wounded cops in your thoughts or your prayers.
For the sake of his victims, it would have been an absolute disgrace if the Mohamed had made it alive.

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