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In the past few hours, you may have hit an error page while trying to access the site, with an ominous message that read:Error 403First things first: your Internet Protocol (IP) address is not blacklisted, and you have not been involved in malicious or illegal activity.
We're sorry, but we could not fulfill your request for /blog/(something -- Ed)/ on this server.
Your Internet Protocol address is listed on a blacklist of addresses involved in malicious or illegal activity. See the listing below for more details on specific blacklists and removal procedures.
Your technical support key is: (some mishmash of letters and numbers -- Ed)
You can use this key to fix this problem yourself.
If you are unable to fix the problem yourself, please contact (the dissident frogman at my gmail address -- Ed) and be sure to provide the technical support key shown above.
At least, none that I know of, which is not very nice of you. I thought we were friends, and then you go off and have a bit of illegal fun without inviting me. Tosser.
That error message is admittedly a bit over the top, but beyond my reach. I would have slipped in a couple of jokes, not just that creepy and slightly threatening message, as any expert in survival will tell you how important it is to maintain a sense of humor in every potentially stressful situation — but unfortunately most software developers fail to develop said sense of humor and are usually sad, anal people (Present company of software developers excepted) without girlfriends who think just because machines can follow instruction-sets without complaining, then people should too.
They don't know people very well. Heck, they can't even have a girlfriend.
So what happened? Smart question. You must be into software development.
To make a long and annoying story short — and hopefully keep it in layman's lingo — I've setup the site with several layers of antispam defenses, as both comments and trackbacks on any blog have been declared fair game by the hordes of a*holes making millions by posting unsolicited commercial offers anywhere they can. So far, these defenses work remarkably well, to the point where I can even keep the trackback system functioning — whereas spam practically killed trackbacks on the previous version of the site, that was running Movable Type.
One of the weapons in the arsenal is an extension to Expression Engine (the publishing software that advantageously replaces the much unsatisfactory Movable Type) called "Bad Behavior" that's quite popular among Wordpress bloggers, and for a reason: it's good at silently blocking most of the spammers' crap in the background, without requiring the user's attention and intervention, while allowing you to keep your blog's functionality fully working — as already stated, I'm still using trackbacks, and I don't need to disable comments on older posts, a cheap and quick workaround to limit spam that many blogs end up using. While a few goblins make it past that layer every now and then(1), it's nothing compared to the chore of removing manually hundreds of spamming comments and trackbacks every other day, a common exercise in the old Movable Type times.
Yesterday, BB's big daddy moved his sites to a new dedicated server, and decommissioned a blacklist he (wrongly) thought wasn't in use, resulting in BB tossing false positives — i.e. identifying addresses as "bad" even though they're not — and locking some good guys (Possibly you, despite the fact that you didn't invite me. Tosser.) out of any blog running BB. An update to Bad Behavior was quickly posted, and thank to our friend Mike H who alerted me that he was "banned" from the site, I looked into the issue, nailed the problem, grabbed a copy of the update and applied it.
Meaning that if you're still locked out of the site you are 1. Not possibly reading this, which means that I can 2. Call you a tosser in total impunity.
Update
It's worse than I first thought: I just found that Bad Behavior now manages to block Google's web crawler, AKA Googlebot. The robot that indexes pages for the Google search engine. Brilliant. What a splendid way to make yourself vanish from the Intarweb.
Bad Behavior ironically lives up to its name although not in the expected meaning, and is definitely out of here, with my boot in its bottom. Tosser.
If you're running it, I suggest you check and make sure Googlebot doesn't get the kick from Bad Behavior. If it does, you'll see the 403 error message I posted here, rather than your site.
Comments
Comments thread (15)
3096 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
I never got that error message. What? Ain't I special enough? Clothes not stylish? Music not hip enough? Are people staring at me?!?! Why aren't people staring at me!?!?!
That was fun, channeling a teenaged girl's hyper-angst.
I run Mozilla Firefox, does that make me all hip and happening in the eyes of Bad Behavior? Since I switched to Firefox I have had far fewer problems, but the ones that come up are usually whoppers. Hope all is now happy and serene in the Froggy Empire. And sorry you got to deal with a bunch of spambot assholes.
Now, let me tell ya 'bout this little purple pill,,,,,,,,
3097 - the dissident frogman
the dissident frogman France
No, it's not related to whatever web browser you're using (let alone the color of your clothes). Your IP (Internet Protocol) address is assigned by your ISP (Internet Service Provider) when you connect to the I (Internet) and that's what BB (Bad Behavior) looked up before opening or closing the gates, and incidentally I don't know if you're like me but I've had enough acronyms for today.
BB is gone, as I can't afford keeping the googlebot out (no matter what I think about Google btw) and all is quiet at the moment. We shall see how the other layers of defense hold up when the next wave of comments/trackbacks spam arise...
3098 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
I have never been clear on all that. I always thought that an IP was more like a permanent telephone number, though I realize now it is a good bit more fluid and flexible.
In an aside, over at sayanythingblog there have been a rash of spambots hitting older comment threads, most over a year old. Rob keeps threads open pretty much forever, so from time to time these little asswipes toddle in and drop a pile of nonsensical words with various links sprinkled throughout. The newer ones actually appear to be coherent, though once you actually read it they come apart.
I wish some bright young designer would come up with an electronic Claymore that could follow these spambots back to their points of origin and smack the crap out of them.
3099 - Mike H.
Mike H. Spokane, Wa
Sorry 2hotel9, It's only non-photogenic elves like me that are so honored. I do have a course on how to achieve that goal but my computer won't let me log on to e-mail it. I'm dictating this to someone else from behind a curtain so her computer can't see me. :D
3101 - Grimmy
Grimmy Where I'm at.
An AKA on a googlebot? Not sure what that is. I know what an AKM is though. Try using that next time. I bet an AKM can punch through the armor on any kind of bot google can send out after you.
Unless it's one of those bots that tunnel underground and pop up to eat you feet first. Saw that on Screamers. Not sure an AKM would do you much good on those.
3105 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
I would merrily loan you my RPK, though I fear the DEA and USPS would frown on such activity.
3106 - Grimmy
Grimmy Where I'm at.
On second thought...
Since these are bots we're talking about, and bots are armored critters, maybe you should just skip the light stuff all together and go with a Dragon.
Sure, the Dragon's not the newest or the bestest, but is should be more affordable now that there's newer models out on the market. And it is a heavy bit of weaponry to lug around, especially on long humps. But, there's a special kind of confidence that comes with knowing that you can reach out and put the Death Touch on anything that wanders into range on a battlefield.
Don't want to be caught hunkered down in a fighting hole with naught but a small arm when there's bots wandering about.
3107 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
It is a rare case in which excessive firepower is a bad thing.
3108 - Civis Proeliator
Civis Proeliator
I use Akismet to block the spamholes. You can check it out by searching with your non-google search engine (I use AllTheWeb). It may require too much attention for your liking but as I don't get the hits you do (and therefore the spam amounts), it does the job for me.
3109 - floridasuzie
floridasuzie Florida
ROFL, you guys are hilarious, loved all the posts! I'm sorry you're having trouble Frog, hope it all turns out alright. All that tech-talk's French to me - some bot named Ed trying to make trouble is what I understand, but since I'm not malicious to anyone who doesn't deserve it and I've not been engaged in any illegal activity that I'll admit to, Ed doesn't scare me. I hope you whip his bot butt good.