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December 15, 2003

Cultural Exception • Exception Culturelle

Fired from France by the dissident frogman

La Francophonie is such a great idea.

I assume this is the result of the relentless French efforts to save our language from the horrendous Anglo-Saxon hegemonic culture.

Mowaffak al-Rubaie confronting Saddam Hussein yesterday, as reported in the New York Times (sorry, no links, it requires a boring registration anyway)
« "The world is crazy," said Mowaffak al-Rubaie, a Governing Council member in the room on Sunday after Mr. Hussein was captured near his hometown, Tikrit. "I was in his torture chamber in 1979, and now he was sitting there, powerless in front of me without anybody stopping me from doing anything to him. Just imagine. We were arguing, and he was using very foul language." »
Very foul language, really? Like what? Any funny Arabic insults and swearwords we could learn?

Oh wait... You mean that foul language:
« Mr. Rubaie said: "One thing which is very important is that this man had with him underground when they arrested him two AK-47's and did not shoot one bullet. I told him, `You keep on saying that you are a brave man and a proud Arab.' I said, `When they arrested you why didn't you shoot one bullet? You are a coward.' "

"And he started to use very colorful language," he said. "Basically he used all his French." »
Oh, fais chier, putain de bordel d'enculé de chienne de vérole de merde.

I already know all the funny swearwords in this one.
La Francophonie est vraiment une grande idée.

J'estime qu'il s'agit là du résultat des efforts français acharnés pour sauvegarder notre langage face à l'effroyable culture hégémonique Anglo-saxonne.

Mowaffak al-Rubaie, confrontant Saddam Hussein hier, ainsi que rapporté dans le New York Times (désolé, pas de liens, il vous faudrait vous enregistrer de toutes manières)
« "Le monde est fou," dit Mowaffak al-Rubaie, membre du Conseil Gouvernant, présent dans la pièce dimanche après la capture de M. Hussein près de sa ville natale de Tikrit. "J'étais dans sa chambre de torture en 1979, et maintenant il était assis là, impuissant devant moi, sans personne pour m'empêcher de lui faire quoi que ce soit. Imaginez simplement. Nous discutions et il utilisait un très vil langage." »
Un très vil langage, vraiment ? Comme quoi ? Quelques exemples d'insultes et de jurons arabes rigolos que nous pourrions apprendre ?

Oh attendez... Vous voulez dire ce vil langage:
« Mr. Rubaie dit: "Une des choses très importantes est que cet homme avait avec lui sous terre, lorsqu'ils l'ont arrêté, deux AK-47 mais n'a pas tiré une seule balle. Je lui ai dit, `Vous dites constamment que vous êtes un homme courageux et un fier arabe.' J'ai dit, `Lorsqu'ils vous ont arrêté, pourquoi n'avez vous pas tiré une seule balle ? Vous êtes un lâche.' "

"Il a alors commencé à utiliser un langage très coloré," a-t-il dit. "Foncièrement, il a utilisé tout son français." »
Oh, fais chier, putain de bordel d'enculé de chienne de vérole de merde.

Je connais déjà tous les jurons rigolos dans cette langue.

Comments

Did he really use french, or does that mean he used a colorfull language (the text would hence be based on the expression 'Excuse my french' that you use when you happen to use a bad word in english)?

And suddenly I wonder: what's the difference anyway? :)

Posted by: Guillaume | December 15, 2003 12:50 PM

Hehe. That's the idea indeed.

Posted by: the dissident frogman | December 15, 2003 12:52 PM

Please tell me that there's a graphic in the works!!! One of your fine animatronic feasts would really rock!

Posted by: Joe | December 15, 2003 01:34 PM

So where did he learn that french? From weapons dealers from France? From Chirac during all those late night phone calls getting the details on America's plans to kick his sorry ass?
Oops, pardon my french.

Posted by: Valerie, the Texas | December 15, 2003 06:21 PM

We're indeed waiting for that flash animated Saddam Hussain popping out of his rat hole to surrender

Posted by: ann onimous | December 16, 2003 10:49 AM

Frogman,

A rat has the good sense to build its warren with an egress and an exit. Saddam was found in a hole, same way in as out. To characterize this as a "spider hole" disparages spiders everywhere.

No, Mr. Hussein chose to make his last stand in a stink hole.

The much bruited Arab street doesn't know what to make of this Arab Big Man, the Grand Jihadi, the Great and Powerful Man of Arab Destiny, who refrained from expending his magazine, much less the the good use of his last bullet, and who surrendered in English. To Americans.

Denied their larger-than-life martyr, understandably the raucous Arab street is in the dumps: To think all those big fairy tales of revanchist Arab greatness -- which sadly sum out to hating Israel and detesting America -- to think the whole of Arab greatness could be stuffed in a stink hole.

But of course the stink hole proved ample accommodation for Saddam's greatness with plenty of room to pack in all the glory of Jack and Dom as well -- and still room to spare for Messrs. Schröder and Chrétien.

So little glory, so much stink hole.

Regards,
DGB

Posted by: Damian Bennett | December 17, 2003 11:16 AM