بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Fired from France by the dissident frogman

Comments

Hey, I got the inside word from my Ouija board. You get the 72 virgins, all right, but the smallest one goes 200 kg on a good day, they each have a tongue like a file, and they spend eternity on the rag. Plus they each come with mothers-in-law. Now, are you sure you want to blow up an ice cream parlor?

Mitch

Posted by: Mitch | March 30, 2004 02:20 AM

Diss:

One thing I've always wondered...How do you know the 72 virgins would be female?

Oh, and, you know, there aren't really any virgins waiting for you, male or female. You get raisins.

Perhaps you could bake a nice cake.

Posted by: Valerie | March 30, 2004 07:28 AM

Mmm. Raisins.

Posted by: B. Durbin | March 30, 2004 08:16 PM

DF: I'm reminded of a joke I heard, in which three still-smoldering jihadi stand outside the gates of the Pearly Mosque. They are all aghast. Their leader cries out: "What do you mean, they have to REMAIN virgins?!?"

Posted by: Nightfly | March 30, 2004 09:56 PM

Who can tell the story of the origin of the word assasin, and the story of 72 virgins so I don't have to?

Posted by: IXLNXS | April 5, 2004 08:10 AM

Hashassine, or however it is spelled phonetically.

They originally came from areas that are now Iran. The Old Man of the Mountain is where this originated. The Old Man being forced from the cities set himself up in a secret stronghold. His agents would seek out people in taverns and drugging them with opium based hsh would take them to the stronghold. Here they would be given wine, and young women would attend their every need. At a later date they would be awakend outside the strong hold and be told they had angered GOD. Then they would be sent to assassinate someone, and told if successful they could reenter heaven. Where they could drink as much wine as they wanted and every man had 72 virgins.

Posted by: IXLNXS | April 7, 2004 07:08 AM

for a good laugh on the subjest of where suicide terrorists end up go to satire weekly newspaper www.theonion.com click achives at top right find Volume 37 Issue 34 for the satire story titled "Hijackers Surprised to find Selves in Hell; "We expected Eternal Paradise for This," Say Suicide Bombers. Awesomely written, and most likely entirely true..... I hope

Posted by: John | April 9, 2004 09:57 PM

Oh it's true alright...they've already bought their ticket to Hell!

Posted by: Macker | April 10, 2004 01:32 AM

Yes, one can get the 72 virgins....
all with PPMS (Permanent Pre Menstrual Syndrome)....

Posted by: Noncatalitico | April 16, 2004 05:35 PM

ABU GHRAIB HYPOCRISY
First let me say that these crimes must be punished. Everyone is shocked and disgusted by this psychological torture and humiliation, which will effect the victims for the rest of their lives.
But the International Community's reaction is riddled with hypocrisy:

1. Bad treatment for US troops?
It is conventional wisdom among pundits that ill-treatment by a few US troops will result in worse treatment against American POWs. Really?
In the past, US POWS and even civilians have hardly been treated according to the Geneva Conventions. Daniel Pearl beheaded, the Fallujah four mutilated and burned, Jessica Lynch raped come to mind. Tiger cages and torture in Vietnam, forced death marches and executions during WWII. Perhaps the pundits could tell me of a conflict where American POWs were protected?
The threat of bad treatment for POWs might have more effect if it hadn't already happened.

2. Torture=bad, Torture-Killing=Good?
How did the world respond when 4 civilians were tortured, mutilated, burned, shot, executed, their bodies parts burned, stepped on, dragged and hung from bridges? In much of the press, it was hardly denounced, and actually used as more evidence of either American failure or blame was cast on the non-combatant civilian workers as being "spieds" or "mercenaries".
Clearly a few humiliating sexual poses would be preferable to mutilation-death-desecration. Apparently rape, torture, mutilation and execution of Americans POWs and even civilians is okay....

3. Demand for apologies
Here's the game:
-If you only apologize, Iraqis will forgive you
-Bush and others apologize
-Declare these apologies invalid for some reason -- they were too indirect, they were personal statements, etc.
-The apology provokes no forgiveness, only shrill denunciations about trying to sneak out of responsibility. A Saudi paper screamed "Killers should apologize!"

4. War=Bad, Terror=Good?
This is a part of a larger pattern of hypocrisy: War is "evil", terror is good. War by nations against nations is wrong. Civil war and insurgency are "heroic". Thus, nations which fight wars must be harangued for real and imagined war-crimes, while their insurgent, terrorist counterparts can extermination civilians, rape, torture and mutilate with impunity---after all, they are not governments, so how can they be held responsible.

Thus, the rape of Jessica Lynch and female soldiers in the first Gulf War are laughed off. Thus, executions of American civilians like Daniel Pearl and an elderly wheel-chair bound Achille Lauro passenger is never called a war crime--the terrorists act with impunity. Only wars are protested; Terrorist atrocities and war crimes are laughed off, ignored, or worse, secretly sympathized and justified.

5. Get ready for more hypocrisy
Some Iraqis despite official apologies and even compensation ,and despite experts from the Arab media who claimed that “if only Bush would apologize” the Iraqis will forgive you, radicals in Iraq and elsewhere will no doubt seek to get “Revenge”. When American POWS are tortured and executed what can we expect? Loud, shrill denunciations by the world’s press?? I doubt it. More likely are apologetics, excuse-making, justifications, and even glee. Such is the craven nature of the “World Community”.

Posted by: user | May 8, 2004 08:09 AM