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November 03, 2004

Says Who? • Et Qui Le Dit ?

Fired from France by the dissident frogman

The NYT just broke the big news: the whole world, including Jacques Chirac and his guest Yasser the Soon To Be Dead (الحمد لله) is watching the US elections closely.

The NYT is very good at breaking big news.

Because of the world plus Jacques Chirac and his guest Yasser the Soon To Be Dead (الحمد لله) watching, we get this kind of comments:
« The most pressing foreign policy issue for whoever is elected president must be the Israeli-Palestinian crisis, said a senior French official close to Mr. Chirac. »
Look Pal, I went searching carefully between Pandale, Texas and NGC133, Cassiopeia and I just couldn't find anybody who gives a flying burrito about what the French, especially senior officials close to Mr. Chirac can think about any kind of issue.

As a matter of facts, that's in no small part the consequences of Mr. Chirac's policy over the last two years and the pressing priorities of any given official close to him. Yeah, God has a wicked sense of humor, if you believe in God.

By now, it seems safe to assume that Kerry lost. Ergo, Jacques Chirac, his officials, his guest Yasser the Soon To Be Dead (الحمد لله) and that part of the world that flies planes in huge towers, beheads civilian workers of any race and nationality (with the exception of French propagandists journalists), rapes and murders Russian schoolchildren and plays the bribery game in oil for food programs, lost.

Consequently, senior French officials might as well shut the big noisy gap right below their big red noses, as one thing is already more than safe to assume: the (re)elected US president is certainly not going to wait for senior French official to tell him what his most pressing policy "must be".
Le NYT vient juste de faire un scoop : le monde entier, ce qui inclue Jacques Chirac et son hôte Yasser le Bientôt Mort (الحمد لله) regarde les élections US de très près.

Le NYT est très fort pour les scoops.

Les conséquences du monde entier plus Jacques Chirac et son hôte Yasser le Bientôt Mort (الحمد لله) qui regardent, sont ce genre de commentaires :
« La question la plus urgente en politique étrangère pour quiconque sera réélu président doit être la crise Israélo-palestinienne, a déclaré un officiel de haut rang proche de M. Chirac. »
Ecoute Mec, j'ai cherché bien soigneusement entre Pandale, Texas et NGC133, Cassiopée et je n'ai tout simplement pas trouvé quelqu'un qui ait quelque chose à foutre de l'opinion française, particulièrement celle d'officiels de haut rang proche de M. Chirac, sur n'importe quelle question.

De fait, c'est là en grande partie le résultat de la politique de M. Chirac sur ces deux dernières années et des priorités pressantes de n'importe quel officiel proche de lui. Ouais, Dieu a un sens de l'humour vicieux, pour qui croit en Dieu.

Dès ce moment, on peut raisonnablement estimer que Kerry a perdu. Ainsi, Jacques Chirac, ses officiels, son hôte Yasser le Bientôt Mort (الحمد لله) et cette partie du monde qui propulse des avions de ligne dans de hautes tours, décapite des travailleurs civils de toutes races et nationalités (à l'exception des propagandistes journalistes français), viole et assassine des écoliers russes et joue la corruption dans les programmes pétrole contre nourriture, ont perdu.

En conséquence, les officiels français de haut rangs peuvent aussi bien fermer le grand clapet bruyant juste sous leur gros nez rouge, car il est une chose que l'on peut dorénavant plus qu'estimer : le président US (ré)élu ne va certainement pas attendre d'officiels français qu'ils lui disent ce que sa plus urgente politique doit être.

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Comments

Je n'ai qu'un mot à dire/Just a single word : "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH !"

L.

Posted by: Mercutio | November 3, 2004 04:51 PM

YEeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

BUSH WINS

SHIRAK to trash...

Posted by: fred | November 3, 2004 06:22 PM

DF,

It is with great satisfaction as an American voter that I invite M. Chiraq to shut the fuck up.

Forgive my French.

Posted by: Mark | November 4, 2004 12:50 AM

Bad move on the Palestinian's part , sending Arafat to France to get well.
Maybe they wanted to see the last of him just like everyone else?

Posted by: Papertiger | November 4, 2004 02:32 AM

Froggy,

Damn funniest frenchman of read in a long while. Fantastic as always and glad to see you back to posting a little more regularly.

We need the info from your side of the pond. It's too damn confusing here in the middle of the US to figure out what drives the rest of france and europe. Sometimes I must wonder if France is one big post modern version of "Gigi".

Posted by: kat-missouri | November 4, 2004 08:56 PM

Now, kat, a good Missourian like you can figure these things out. Their officials and politicians are out of ideas, their economy is stagnating, their health care system is fraying, they are being overwhelmed by groups who spurn assimilating into French culture, and they solve these issues by ...despising America. Simple.

But it always is wonderful to have the Frogman's take on things. Please, froggy, don't go away again, for quite so long. (Just how much shameless kissing-up do we have to do to keep you with us?)

Mercutio, fred, mighty nice whoopin' and hollarin' to these Texas ears!

Posted by: Valerie, Texas | November 6, 2004 04:27 AM

And what, pray tell, does this "French Official" think President Bush should do about the Israeli-Palestinian "crisis"?

Hey, I know! Let's knock out one of the main terrorist-supporting states in the Middle East - maybe the one that gives $25,000 to the families of people who murder mass numbers of Israelis while they ride a bus or eat lunch. I'll bet the French government will be behind us all the way!

What this guy means by "solving" the "crisis" is "hold another eight or ten years of "negotiations" while Israeli children die. Yet even that is an inadequate interpretation, since in this context "negotiations" means "grandstand to the world press about how Israel is a racist nation which should immediately give up every inch of dirt any arab demands"

What France is missing is that Ariel Sharon and George Bush have ALREADY "solved" the "crisis". The former by building a fence which keeps the murderers out and the latter by digging Saddam Hussein out of his dirt-hole shortly after giving his sons a permanent dirt nap.

The French governement would love to turn the clock back to the good old days in the ME, but sadly for them that train left the station.

Posted by: Futsal Fred | November 8, 2004 05:32 PM

Bientôt de "bonnes nouvelles" sur le sort de Yasser Arafat ?

Qu'il soit Yasser le Bientôt Mort (الحمد لله) (l'haï de Dieu serait plus juste DF),
ou bien Yasser l'Homme (est) Malade (إنَّ اَلْرَّ جُِلَ مَر يضٌ), O Envoyé de Dieu et miséricordieux (يا رَسولَ للهِ), accepte le tout de même au paradis !

Posted by: David Sohn | November 10, 2004 11:09 AM